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| Typical day in Hawaii |
Okay so remember way way way back in the day, when as a result of some sneaktastic economic policies, the United States provoked Japan into shoving a stick of dynamite up our collective asses, which we ended up calling the attacks on Pearl Harbor?
I guess "The Battle of Dynamite Ass Harbor" doesn't sound quite as worthy of remembrance.
Now the problem with living on a rock in the middle of the goddamn ocean is that you can only hold so many folks on it at the same time. You also can't eat rocks. Japan's massive economic progress in the early 20th century meant that overpopulation and lack of resources was quickly getting to be an issue. The solution obviously was to boogie over to the nearest country, beat the shit out of them, and move in. Korea was annexed by the Empire in 1910, and the Chinese region of Manchuria became a Japanese puppet state in 1932. The Japanese were basically shipping large portions of industry, agriculture, and people to their new conquests and living at the expense of the natives.
The folks in Europe and America understandably got their panties in a cinnamon twist over that situation. However, Franklin Delano "Big Poppa Pump" Roosevelt, President of the United States at the time, saw an opportunity to get in the war that was already raging in Europe. Most folks at home, despite the indignation they exhibited towards the violence in Asia and Europe (the unmitigated gall of it!), did not want to commit to a war, in other words they displayed isolationist tendencies. This isn't to say that they didn't care about the suffering of the people at war, they just didn't want America to be involved in what they already knew was going to be another World War after the first went so deliciously.
So FDR figured that a good way he could get a lot of people killed in faraway places (good for the economy, that) was to provoke an attack on the United States. Once America was made into a victim, its people would put up with anything the government wanted to do until victory was achieved. That strategy had worked in the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War 1, now World War 2, the Vietnam War, and arguably in the modern War on Terror.
Japan's position as a fucking rock in the middle of the goddamn ocean meant that supply lines were vital to keep their boys krumpin' shit up in mainland Asia. Without oil, rubber, and ammunition, war cannot be waged effectively. America had been, believe it or not, selling war materiel to Japan during their wars of expansion. However, in 1940 Japan invaded French Indochina in an effort to embargo all imports into China, including war supplies purchased from the U.S. This move prompted the United States to embargo all oil exports. Japan estimated that if it couldn't get more fuel from somewhere, it had less than two years worth of oil remaining. Bit of a problem.
Japan figured that if they rolled on over and blew us up, they could convince FDR to lay off and let them wage war in peace. They didn't really count on Americans not taking shit like a surprise attack bombing lightly. Things like that should really go in the book of war right next to "Not fighting with your land armies in fucking China", a rule that they also broke with flying colors.
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| The 2011 World Cup Final |
The attack began on December 7, 1941. The code word "Tora" used by the Japanese to indicate that complete surprise was achieved is translated in Japanese as "虎" or "tiger", hence making the code for achieved surprise "Tiger, tiger, tiger".
Apparently the architect of the attacks on Pearl Harbor was Sagat from Street Fighter.
Yes that was the entire reason I wrote this post.
--Matt
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| Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto in dress uniform |
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